Wow, just when you think every thing is gone. Everything from your past, that was part of the worst and best times are back, and yet the worst of things stayed away. I really just dont want a reappearance of the greater past, because all it will be is a nightmare. I'm so glad I can be friends with someone i treated so poorly in the past but I guess forgiveness is something you are acceptant to everything. I love you, and being around you and hanging out and everything. You are such a good friend, and someone so easy to talk to. I trust you with everything, and I really hope you feel the same with me, because lately I can't trust anyone it seems but you I can trust with everything and Im sooo glad of that. Im sorry for everything in the past and all the harm I've done to you and your life. Im so glad we/ you put everything in the past and that we now know we can really get through anything. Remember the promise we made a long time ago that we would never fight over a guy ever again,I think thats one promise I will actually be able to keep, because I don't think I've kept many in my life time! I hope we can be friends for a really long time, your one person who I enjoy going to. Your a really good person, I love you Lauren Avery! Your one of a kind.
well i couldn't go through with it... i couldn't break up with him.. i think we can make it better right? there has to be something there... or maybe its just to kiss.. cause he really says he likes our kisses, and everytime we fight he thinks he can solve it all with kisses... and i love to kiss him but a reltionship cannot revolve around or be all about kisses... right? so i'm going to give it one more shot.. but if it doesn't work out then it will have to end....
i guess all i need right now is someone i can trust.. someonei cantell whatever is on my mind and won't take it too seriously cause he/she knows i'm just getting it all out. and that most of the things i say will not be relevant or may be 100% stupid but i need to say them....
i decided to start an online journal because i normally find that i can express my thoughts easier through writing. right now i'm in a relationship that has been going on for four years. however, lately i've been having a lot of trouble with my boyfriend. i graduated from highschool in june and my parents wanted to send me away to college, however, my boyfriend told me that i couldn't leave because it wasn't fair to him because he had stayed for me (he graduated two years earlier) and that if i left wewould have to break up.now, he wants to go study to another country and when i told him that if he left we were going to break up he sayed i wasn´t backing him up or being there for him. i´m getting tired of playing the sweet girlfriend while he gets to act all tough and sexist. but i think i still love him too much. i've never been with someone else and we´ve been dating since i was 13 so it makes it really hard on me because i don't know if i can´t break up with him cause i really love him or if i'm just scared of being alone. some guys (friends of mine) have told me that i'm too good for him and what not but i feel that this is their duty as a friend and they cannot be honest with me. i have another not- so- close friend whose been wanting me to kiss him lately (not happening) but i think he's just trying to trick me into doing something so he can tell my boyfriend.. i think i don't have any real friends because i might have dumped them for him. i don't know what to do because everytime i try to talk to him i forget what i was going to say and when i do say it, he just hugs me and says i'm sorry but nothing ever changes!!
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